Sweat Towels are the Future

Eddie Lacy recently sat down to talk about his struggles with weight and anyone who has ever played Fantasy Football probably knows him as “Fat Eddie Lacy” because… well, he’s always been fat.

The article is pretty good and worth checking out. But there’s one thing in particular that stuck out to me:

“It’s 75 degrees and beautiful in Renton, Washington. The sky is clear and blue. When new Seahawks running back Eddie Lacy climbs out of his Corvette and waves to me in a park near his condo, I notice he’s brought a towel. It’s a small towel, tan and about the size of a dishrag. We find an empty bench, near the playground, and take a seat. As Lacy speaks in an affable baritone, he holds the towel gently in his thick hands, occasionally massaging it like he wants assurance it’s still there.”

“Eventually he explains that he gets nervous when he does interviews, and he sweats when he gets nervous. So he came prepared today.”


For those of you not familiar with sweat towels allow me to explain. For people like me who seem to sweat profusely, no matter what the conditions are, sweat towels are essential. Basically, you carry around a towel and then when you start to sweat *BOOM* you have a towel and can wipe the sweat away.

The sweat towel can be used of other things as well. For example, I was at Fenway this summer and it started raining. When the rain stopped and I returned to my seat I conveniently used the towel to dry the seat so my ass wouldn’t be soaked.

Now let’s not get confused, we are not talking about those foolish cooling towels that you wet and hang around your neck. Those are great but they only cool you down and don’t wipe up the extra sweat. Nothing compares to a good old-fashioned cotton sweat towel.

Now I bet you’re asking yourself, “What’s the point? I bet he only uses these in the summer.”

Well let me tell you that I use these bad boys 24/7, 365 days a year. Trust me, the folks with hyperhidrosis understand. But now that Eddie Lacy is onboard with the sweat towel phenomenon, we have a celebrity spokesperson! Sweat towels are going to take off and you will see them everywhere!

I now have two missions in life:

  1. Increase the popularity of Shower Beers
  2. Teach the world of the benefits of the Sweat Towel




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